Summary
- Clark Griswold's best quotes in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation are hilarious and memorable, showcasing his charm and childishness.
- Clark's love for Christmas often results in him being out of touch with reality, leading to comedic mishaps.
- Eddie's presence in the movie brings destructive and comedic chaos, creating hilarious interactions with Clark.
Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold, a well-meaning, yet overreaching dad who finds himself walking into one Christmas catastrophe after another. Even with its cartoonish over-the-top mayhem, Christmas Vacation can be hilariously relatable to anyone who has struggled with a holiday season where nothing seemed to go right.
The film is a masterful piece of comedy, specifically because of the clever script. Clark has some of the funniest lines in Christmas Vacation, allowing him to churn out a memorable scene after memorable scene. From his eccentric attempts to make everything perfect for Christmas to his reactions to his imposing relatives to his gradual mental breakdown, Clark's best quotes from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation are hilarious and memorable.
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10 "Burn Some Dust Here. Eat My Rubber!"
Clark To The Truck Driver
To say that Clark Griswold was out of touch with the cool kids was an understatement. He demonstrated this time and time again by failing to realize just what an imbecile he was, particularly during the opening scene. While driving out into the wilderness to get a Christmas tree for the house in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Clark suffered a bit of road rage.
In an attempt to get competitive and prove himself, he started hammering the gas pedal while tossing out this quote, with a smile. His tough-guy act is hard to buy as Clark mixes up his already outdated insults. It is a wonderful reminder that, even with all his charm, Clark is a childish man who makes a fool of himself often.
9 "Can't See The Line, Can You Russ?"
Clark To His Son iring The Sales Woman's Outfit
Clark Griswold might have been a loving father and a devoted husband, but he clearly had some trouble ignoring the opposite sex, particularly if the woman in question was attractive. While out shopping for Christmas gifts in Christmas Vacation, he came across Mary, who was eager to show him some lingerie.
Unfortunately, she showed a bit too much, and Clark became entranced. Once again, Russ was there to witness the whole thing as the woman demonstrated a pair of high-cut panties that hid the line of the underwear. In a daze, Clark asked whether Russ could see the line, to which Russ replied "Nope," much to his father's surprise and comic horror. Chevy Chase's reaction in the moment shows that even in his kids' eyes, Clark can be a hard man to take seriously.
8 "Russ, When Was The Last Time I Overdid Anything?"
Clark To His Son Russ About The Christmas Lights
Clark Griswold wanted to make that year's Christmas the best in the festive National Lampoon movie, and that meant going above and beyond the call of duty. This was a trademark of his personality — a desire to get a rise out of his family and loved ones by giving them an awesome spectacle. That year, it was a house loaded to the brim with Christmas lights.
Russ was quick to point out that his father might have bitten off more than he could chew. He asked him whether he thought he was overdoing things, to which Clark replied with this quote. As much as Clark's love of Christmas is charming, he is one of many characters in the movie who has a lack of self-awareness about things that others clearly see.
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7 "Surprised, Eddie? If I Woke Up Tomorrow With My Head Sewn To The Carpet, I Wouldn't Be More Surprised."
Clark To Cousin Eddie About His Sudden Visit
After struggling to get his enormously ambitious Christmas light project to work in one of the funniest National Lampoon movie scenes, Clark Griswold was overcome with joy. The entire family came out on the front lawn to witness the blinding spectacle, giving cousin-in-law Eddie Johnson, his wife and kids, and their dog Snots time to slip in unnoticed.
It was meant to be a surprise, though nobody asked for them to show up, for reasons that would quickly become obvious. When Eddie asked Clark if he was surprised, he responded with this hilarious quote that went right over Eddie's head. Eddie's failure to recognize social norms that suggest inviting himself and his family to crash the Clark's Christmas is just the beginning of how much of a nuisance Eddie will be.
6 "Can I Refill Your Eggnog For You? Get You Something To Eat? Drive You Out To The Middle Of Nowhere... Leave You For Dead?"
Clark To Eddie When He Becomes An Unwelcome Guest
Within the first hour of showing up, Eddie had already worn out his welcome with Clark. He'd gotten into the eggnog and started recounting stories that normal folks would be ashamed of. It was becoming too much for Clark to bear. A brief interlude allowed Clark to drop this funny question on Eddie, which he was oblivious to, once again. Clark would have loved nothing more than a family Christmas without Eddie's lumbering, oafish stupidity. The dark line is made even funnier by the fact that it goes completely unnoticed by Eddie, pointing to how little self-awareness he has in the destructive nature he brings as a guest.
5 "The Silent Majesty Of A Winter's Morn. The Clean, Cool Chill Of The Holiday Air. And An A*****e In His Bathrobe, Emptying A Chemical Toilet Into My Sewer."
Clark To Ellen Watching Eddie In Their Front Yard
Clark Griswold awoke a few days before Christmas to the sounds of his family fighting it out in the dining room, which wasn't exactly the kind of atmosphere he had in mind. He decided to walk to the window and gaze out at the bright, sunny morning, while Ellen came to greet him. Giving him a big hug, she asked what he was looking at. Clark replied with this quote, followed by the image of Eddie standing in the middle of the street with a beer and a cigar, emptying his RV's toilet into the storm sewer by the curbside.
This National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation quote is a hilarious juxtaposition of Clark looking for the ideal Christmas view out his window only for Eddie to once again remind him he is a force of nature seemingly hellbent on destroying the peace and tranquility of the season.
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4 "Hallelujah! Holy S***! Where's The Tylenol?"
Clark To The Family After His Rant
Clark Griswold had been pining away for his Christmas bonus in order to fill the down payment on a pool he wanted to install in the backyard. It was the ultimate Christmas gift for his family. It didn't help that he was dealing with the stress of a series of mishaps and accidents around the house. By the time a company envelope was delivered, he was near the breaking point.
When he found out that it contained a hip to the Jelly of the Month club instead of a bonus, he went on an angry rant about his boss before dropping this line and running off. The epic rant is one of the funniest in movie history as all the frustration that has been boiling up inside spills out, leading to one of the most memorable Charles Griswold quotes in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
3 "We Needed A Coffin... Uh, I Mean... A Tree..."
Clark To Ellen As He Begins To Snap
After Uncle Lewis inadvertently burnt down the family Christmas tree while lighting a cigar, Clark got the bad news about his supposed bonus. He was coming apart at the seams, yet he was determined to salvage the operation. His first order of business was to go outside with a chainsaw and slice down the nearest tree. How he managed to secure and decorate another tree in such record time is one of the things that makes no sense about Christmas Vacation, but it's forgivable.
When Ellen comes to check on Clark, he tries to show he's fine but his slip of the tongue hints at where his mental state really is. Chevy Chase is terrific at playing this aspect of Clark as he gradually begins to succumb to everything going wrong yet keeps trying to convince himself Christmas is not ruined.
2 "Nobody's Leaving! Nobody's Walking Out On This Fun Old Fashioned Family Christmas! Noooo, No, We're All In This Together!"
Clark To His Family As He Forces The Celebration On Everyone
When things got so bad that Christmas seemed unsalvageable, Clark's family decided to pack up and take off, rather than stick around for the aftermath. They believed it was better if everyone just left before things got worse. They were stopped at the foot of the stairs by Clark, who wasn't willing to let any of them go. To him, the disasters they'd suffered were like a military operation gone wrong, and he wasn't about to let his fellow soldiers abdicate their responsibilities.
It is one of the funniest scenes in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, as Clark's charming determination to have a perfect Christmas gradually becomes an obsession, even when all the signs point to disaster.
1 "When What To My Wondering Eyes Should Appear, But A Miniature Sleigh... And... And Eddie, With A Man In His Pajamas And A Dog Chain... Tied To His Wrists And Ankles."
Clark Seeing Eddie Return With A Christmas Gift
After Clark's dad managed to calm him down and talk some sense into him, Clark seemed like he was willing to put all the bad stuff behind him. He even took on the duty of reciting The Night Before Christmas with his family, which seemed to be going nicely. That is until Clark looked out the window and saw Eddie leading his boss Frank up the pathway in chains, with a gigantic ribbon on his chest, and a gag in his mouth. It was Eddie's Christmas present to Clark and a chance for retribution against the crotchety old boss who cut out employee bonuses that year.
The way Clark absent-mindedly changes the words to the classic holiday poem is hilarious and shows the fun way National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is willing to pervert those beloved Christmas traditions into something darkly funny.
