With the best Discworld novels, but ten moments that combine the profound and the absurd in the way only Terry Pratchett could.

10 "Lord, What Can The Harvest Hope For, If Not For The Care Of The Reaper Man?"

Death

Reaper Man, the 11th overall novel and second book in Death's story, continues with the themes explored in Death's first book, Mort. Then, the anthropomorphic personification of mortality took on an apprentice, Mort, so he could take a vacation; now, the influence of that event has led to Death developing a personality, which his bosses, the Auditors of Reality, disapprove of, as they think it affects how he performs his duty of culling souls. The Auditors send Death to go live a normal life, and he winds up working as a farmhand.

ALL THINGS THAT ARE, ARE OURS. BUT WE MUST CARE. FOR IF WE DO NOT CARE, WE DO NOT EXIST. IF WE DO NOT EXIST, THEN THERE IS NOTHING BUT BLIND OBLIVION. AND EVEN OBLIVION MUST END SOMEDAY. LORD, WILL YOU GRANT ME JUST A LITTLE TIME? FOR THE PROPER BALANCE OF THINGS. TO RETURN WHAT WAS GIVEN. FOR THE SAKE OF PRISONERS AND THE FLIGHT OF BIRDS.

Death took a step backwards.

It was impossible to read the expression in Azrael's features.

Death glanced sideways at the servants.

LORD, WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?

With Death out of the way, the Auditors replace him with separate Deaths for every species, but it takes so long to make a New Death for humans that everyone who should have died in the meantime winds up having to mill around as a slightly confused zombie. Once the New Death manifests, instead of following orders, he hunts down the original Death and attempts to kill him.

Winning the fight against his replacement, Death realizes just how much of a mess the Auditors have made of things, and reclaims his power, absorbing most of the other Deaths back into himself. He then appeals to the highest authority, Azrael, the Death of the Universe, pointing out that his personality and comion aren't just quirks, but an important part of how he does his job. His work tending to the harvest helped him understand that the reason his duty matters – why anything matters – is because it is something that is done with comionate intention.

9 "This Was The Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' Theory Of Socioeconomic Unfairness."

Vimes' Internal Monologue

The second book in the Night Watch storyline and 15th overall sees Watch Captain Sam Vimes, on the eve of his wedding to Lady Sybil Ramkin, following the trail of an assassin who refuses to follow the rules of Ankh-Morpork's Assassins Guild, using a mysterious projectile weapon called a "gonne." Along the way, Vimes also has to learn how to integrate non-human into the Watch, coming up against ages of prejudice on all sides.

The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness.

Vimes' "Boots" theory comes up early in the novel, and has little to do with the emotional climax later on, but is a very important facet of his character. As a former street urchin turned beat cop, Vimes is intimately familiar with poverty in a way his fiancée and the other aristocrats of the city could never be.

8 "To Change The Fate Of One Individual Is To Change The World"

Death

Soul Music (book 16 and Death's third novel) introduces Death's granddaughter (by way of his former apprentice and adopted son, Mort) Susan, whose parents have just died. Even though they never told her about her relation to Death, she's forced to take his place as he goes on sabbatical to mourn his apprentice. Meanwhile, a young bard from Llamedos has traveled to Ankh-Morpork in search of fame, and after buying a strange guitar from an even stranger shop, accidentally invents a whole new kind of sound: Music With Rocks In, the Disc's first taste of rock and roll.

Early in Soul Music, as Susan is exploring Death's house and her new duties, she accidentally stumbles across a moment from the past and watches Death and her father come to blows. After Mort leaves, the Death from the past sees Susan there and speaks with her, because his memory isn't limited by mortal perceptions of time. They discuss Susan's new responsibilities as a Death, and the way that human beings are both like mindless ants and also essential pieces of the world, and Death reminds Susan that they both hold the power to fundamentally change reality.

7 "That's What People Say When The Voiceless Speak"

Vimes

The 19th Discworld novel (and third City Watch book) explores the thorny nature of personhood by way of traditionally Jewish imagery, namely golems. As constructs of clay, bound to follow the instructions on the scrolls inside their heads, golems on the Disc are considered nothing more than tools. Yet when twelve golems in Ankh-Morpork decide to create a new king golem to lead them all to freedom by poisoning Lord Vetinari, but that golem loses control and kills the human and the dwarf that helped create him, Sam Vimes is forced to investigate.

Out of guilt for their creation's actions, eleven of the golems responsible destroy themselves and the twelfth, named Dorfl, turns himself in as the guilty party. Yet instead, the Watch effectively make Dorfl his own master, and when he is damaged while helping subdue the rogue king golem they reforge him and give him the ability to speak. Dorfl accompanies Vimes to question Dragon King of Arms, a vampire who runs the city's college of heraldry and who turns out to have been part of the cabal that helped instigate the whole thing in hopes of deposing Vetinari.

The vampire looked from the golem to Vimes.

"You gave one of them a VOICE?" he said.

"Yes," said Dorfl. He reached down and picked up the vampire in one hand. "I Could Kill You," he said. "This Is An Option Available To Me As A Free-Thinking Individual But I Will Not Do So Because I Own Myself And I Have Made A Moral Choice."

"Oh, gods," murmured Vimes under his breath.

"That’s BLASPHEMY," said the vampire.

He gasped as Vimes shot him a glance like sunlight. "That’s what people say when the voiceless speak."

In the confrontation between the Watch and Dragon King of Arms, the vampire is horrified at the revelation that Dorfl is a golem that can talk, let alone arrest him for murder. Once Dragon is subdued, the college of heraldry is destroyed, and Dorfl is made a full Watchman. Other golems are allowed to buy their own freedom, and most do, but then continue about their duties as before, because it was never their labor that dehumanized them, it was how other people refused to give them a choice.

6 "You Have To Start Out Learning To Believe The Little Lies"

Death

Hogfather (book 20, and Death's fourth book) sees Death once again stepping outside his comfort zone, this time having to take the place of the titular Hogfather, the Disc's analogue of Santa Claus. Once again, the Auditors of Reality have made a mess of things, as they've put a hit out on the Hogfather. The assassin Mr. Teatime comes very close to succeeding by using the Tooth Fairies to force all the children on the Disc to stop believing in the Hogfather.

YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME… SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point –"

MY POINT EXACTLY.

Death enlists Susan, his granddaughter by way of his former apprentice Mort, to help, since he is powerless in the Tooth Fairy's realm, and together they manage to stop Mr. Teatime from finishing his contract. After that, they manage to save the Hogfather from the Auditors, who have turned into dogs and are trying to kill him directly. Once the Hogfather is safe and away, Death and Susan discuss the power of belief and symbols, and how they help humanity make sense of a world that often seems senseless.

5 “Sin, Young Man, Is When You Treat People Like Things. Including Yourself.”

Granny Weatherwax

The 23rd Discworld novel and sixth in the overall plot line following the witches Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, and Magrat Garlick. Carpe Jugulum sees the witches struggling against the Magpyr vampire clan, who are attempting to take over the country of Lancre, which Magrat became Queen of in Lords and Ladies, with their vampiric mind control powers. A first fight against them leaves Granny on the verge of turning into a vampire and the other witches are forced to flee.

When Nanny Ogg, Magrat, and Magrat's daughter Esmerelda are trapped in the Magpyr's castle in Überwald, it's up to Granny to save them. Having overcome the nascent vampirism, she arrives in style, having forced the Omnian priest Mightily Oats to carry her. It's during that journey that the two have a conversation about the nature of faith, exploring the marked difference between Oats' extremely conservative Omnian faith and Granny's painfully practical perspective.

4 "But It's Just Possible That I Might Get A Hard-Boiled Egg"

Vimes

Discworld's 29th book, and sixth in the Watch story, sends Sam Vimes back in time to his own youth in pursuit of Carcer, a particularly sadistic murderer. Arrested by his own younger self upon arrival, Vimes is told by a helpful Time Monk that he can't risk changing his own past and so poses as John Keel, who was supposed to the Watch that day but had been murdered by Carcer, and who was Vimes' mentor in the Watch.

Vimes, as Keel, winds up in the middle of one of the most tumultuous events in Ankh-Morpork's history – the People's Revolution of the Glorious 25th of May, when the residents of Treacle Mine Road formed a People's Republic and fought back against the City Watch and the city's Patrician, Homicidal Lord Winder. While in the original timeline the Republic failed miserably, Vimes' presence changes events just enough to save a few lives and allow him to finally catch Carcer.

"You'd like Freedom, Truth, and Justice, wouldn't you, Comrade Sergeant?" said Reg encouragingly.

"I'd like a hard-boiled egg," said Vimes, shaking the match out.

There was some nervous laughter, but Reg looked offended.

"In the circumstances, Sergeant, I think we should set our sights a little higher –"

"Well, yes, we could," said Vimes, coming down the steps. He glanced at the sheets of papers in front of Reg. The man cared. He really did. And he was serious. He really was. "But… well, Reg, tomorrow the sun will come up again, and I'm pretty sure that whatever happens we won't have found Freedom, and there won't be a whole lot of Justice, and I'm damn sure we won't have found Truth. But it's just possible that I might get a hard-boiled egg."

The quote above is a conversation between Vimes as Keel, idealistic fellow Watchman Reg Shoe (who Vimes knows in the present as a zombie, as he is doomed to die in the Revolution), and several other guards, all discussing the rhetoric of the Revolution. Many of its more ionate proponents, including Reg, adamantly the Revolution's intangible ideals, but Vimes, with his slightly cynical perspective, reminds them that such intangibles are the kinds of promises that are almost impossible to fulfill, and sometimes it helps to add a very achievable goal to a list.

The phrase "Truth, Justice, Freedom, Reasonably Priced Love, and a Hard-Boiled Egg" became the Revolution's rallying cry, as well as a real world way for Discworld fans to summarize their own ideals.

3 "Revenge Is A Wheel, And It Turns Backwards"

The Duchess (Through Wazzer)

Monstrous Regiment is the 31st novel in the series and one of the few stand-alone books. It focuses on the tiny country of Borogravia, a belligerent and conservative nation whose religion deprives its citizens of more and more even as the country grinds itself away in a pointless war against the neighboring country of Zlobenia. The book's title is a reference to The First Blast of the Trumpet Against the Monstrous Regiment of Women, a tract by Scottish Reformation theologian John Knox that warns against the dangers of allowing women to rule.

"And now I demand that you do what the ignorant might feel is the easier thing. You must refrain from dying in battle. Revenge is not redress. Revenge is a wheel, and it turns backwards. The dead are not your masters."

The book follows Polly Perks, a young woman whose brother Paul is missing in the war. Polly disguises herself as a man so she can the Borogravian military; while serving with her unit she discovers all her fellow soldiers are also women disguised as men. Polly's squad manages to infiltrate the Zlobenian stronghold and capture their leaders, ending the war. When Polly and the others reveal themselves as women to the Borogravian generals, they're met with disgust and would be discharged but for the intervention of Sergeant Jackrum, who reveals a full third of the Borogravian leaders are women.

2 If Only The Pawns United, Maybe Talked The Rooks Round, The Whole Board Could’ve Been A Republic In A Dozen Moves."

Vimes' Internal Monologue

Thud! is the 34th Discworld novel (and seventh Watch book), where Vimes stumbles into uncovering a conspiracy within dwarf society that is deeply linked to the ancient racial enmities between dwarfs and trolls. After a dwarf demagogue is seemingly murdered, Vimes' investigation carries him and the Watch all the way to the ancient Koom Valley, where the battle that supposedly caused dwarfs and trolls to despise each other happened.

Vimes had never got on with any game much more complex than darts. Chess in particular had always annoyed him. It was the dumb way the pawns went off and slaughtered their fellow pawns while the kings lounged about doing nothing that always got to him; if only the pawns united, maybe talked the rooks round, the whole board could’ve been a republic in a dozen moves.

At Koom Valley, Vimes discovers that there was never a battle; it was a peace summit, but a storm caused the armies to stumble into each other in a fog, and the survivors were washed away into a deep cavern, where they were trapped. Thud! uses the board game of the same name as a repeated metaphor for the perspectives dwarfs and trolls have on each other. Early on in the book, Vimes' reflections on the game of Thud show that, as always, the stalwart Commander of the Watch remains one of the Disc's greatest champions of egalitarianism.

1 "Do You Not Know That A Man Is Not Dead While His Name Is Still Spoken?"

Grandad

Going Postal is the 33rd novel, and the first to focus on the character of Moist von Lipwig, a man who becomes central to Ankh-Morpork's attempt at an Industrial Revolution. Moist is a con artist condemned to death by hanging, but who is saved at the last minute by Lord Vetinari, who offers Moist a job rebuilding the city's run-down Postal Service. Although the Post Office has been closed for decades, and the building is mostly pigeon dung by weight, Moist makes the best of it.

Grandad, who says the famous quote, is merely a clacks operator, but his statement not only had profound effects on Moist, but also Discworld fans. The clacks on the Disc have a message constantly ing from tower to tower that only consists of the name of John Dearheart, the son of the man who created the clacks. More specifically, the message is "GNU John Dearheart," with the GNU prefix being a code that specifies the message should be ed on, not logged, and returned once it reaches the end of the line.