The real-life Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, is known for his witty comebacks and sharp sarcasm. So it's no wonder this quality would be explored for comedic purposes in The Crown. But while some of Philip's many snarky remarks in the series are funny, others are downright cruel.
Whether it's Matt Smith or Tobias Menzies playing Philip over the decades, both actors showcase their subject's tendency toward smugness. It's true, Philip's ability to cut to the chase balances out his wife's tendency to equivocate, especially in the early years of her ascension to the throne, but does he always have to be so harsh?
"You've Raised Looking The Other Way Into An Artform."
By the end of the second season, the marriage between Elizabeth and Philip has really been put to the test. It's not easy being married to the Queen of England, nor is it easy being married to the ambitious Duke of Edinburgh.
When Elizabeth implies she'll turn a blind eye to any indiscretions Philip may pursue, he comes back at her with the line above. He then really throws her a curveball by saying, "You can look this way. I’m yours."
"Any Honest Parent Would it To Having A Favorite."
This wisecrack is a bit understandable, and it signals a major difference between Elizabeth and Philip: she wants to be diplomatic about everything, while he prefers to be more brusque with his viewpoints. After Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher talks to the Queen about having a favorite child, Elizabeth criticizes Thatcher's comment in Philip's presence.
Instead of agreeing with her, he calls Elizabeth's bluff, imploring her to be honest about her favorite child. Philip has no qualms about letting his wife know Princess Anne is his favorite, but Elizabeth doesn't give it up so easily.
"She's Run Out Of Tonic"
Elizabeth's younger sister Margaret is a bit of a rabble-ro, and Philip finds her lifestyle choices reprehensible. When Margaret's marriage to Antony Armstrong-Jones falls apart at the end of the third season, she reaches out to her older sister for help.
Elizabeth lets Philip know something is up with Margaret, and as expected, he responds with a series of sarcastic questions about what's happening in Margaret's life. "You wouldn't put it past her," Philip concludes.
"Couldn't You Just Make Up An Excuse And Say I'm Off Sinning Somewhere?"
Pious Elizabeth takes an interest in Billy Graham, who was an up-and-coming evangelical minister when he was first invited to Buckingham Palace in 1955. As portrayed in the second season, Philip doesn't share his wife's enthusiasm for the North Carolina preacher.
In fact, he wants nothing to do with the man. But, like a faithful husband, he bemoans the situation with a shrewd joke and ultimately follows suit behind the Queen.
"They Delivered As Astronauts, But They Disappointed As Human Beings."
Only Prince Philip would have the gall to criticize the first astronauts to walk on the moon. The successful space mission stirs up Philip's unrealized dreams to live an adventurous life full of constant exploration.
The Apollo 11 astronauts visit Philip and Elizabeth at Buckingham Palace in season three, where he dismisses the men as boring dolts. "I expected them to be giants, gods, but in reality, they’re just three little men, pale-faced with colds," he tells Elizabeth.
"Why Does Everyone Think That Just Because We're Royal We Like Fine Dining?"
Philip's elitism knows no bounds, and it only gets worse when he becomes the face of the British Empire. Even before Elizabeth becomes queen, Philip shows his true colors while in Kenya as part of a royal tour they embark upon because of King George VI's failing health.
While in Kenya, Philip manages to poke fun at a Kenyan royal's crown. He also manages to find fault with the way meals are served to him, quipping in his very sardonic and ethnocentric way, "Don’t they realize we’re savages?"
"That's The Last Thing This Country Needs. Two Women Running The Shop."
Margaret Thatcher became Prime Minister of England in 1979, and no one was more prepared for sexist quips than Philip. Even though both Thatcher and Queen Elizabeth harbor conservative viewpoints, their dual leadership signaled a turn toward a new era for British politics.
Philip's frustration over not being the head of his household sticks with him through the seasons, no matter how devoted he remains to Queen Elizabeth. Making acerbic, embittered comments is his way of coping.
"I Am Currently Outranked By My Eight-Year-Old Son."
No matter how Philip slices it, he will never be King of England. Being in his wife's shadow, always having to let her lead, agitates Philip beyond belief, as this dynamic completely subverts traditional ideas about marriage.
Prince Charles, who is Elizabeth's first-born, outranked his father upon birth. He continues to be the first in line to ascend the throne when his mother es away.
"I Thought You Were Hoping For More Children From Me? Then Why On Earth Would You Do Something Like That To Your Hair?"
In season two, Elizabeth gets a practical haircut that makes her look about 20 years older than she is. Instead of giving his wife constructive criticism about her new 'do, Philip lets her have it in his uniquely snarky way.
He doesn't stop there, either. "Should you ever feel compelled to ride a motorcycle, it could always double as a helmet," he tells his mortified wife.
"Am I To Be The Only Man In This Country Whose Wife And Children Don't Take His Name?"
The earliest years of Elizabeth and Philip's marriage are depicted as rocky, full of growing pains and failed promises. At first, Elizabeth agrees to accept Philip's name for herself and her children.
However, when Winston Churchill and the rest of his cabinet strongly oppose, Elizabeth takes it back, which sends Philip into a fury. Ultimately, Elizabeth's duty to maintain the traditions of the monarchy outweigh Philip's desire to maintain the traditional marriage structure.